earthnation:

people who have the same name as me are competition 

toxicrants:

Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit. 

If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch-ass liar.

i hate when applications are like “why do you want to work here”

because i need money

what do you want me to say omfg

I HAVE A PASSION FOR FROZEN YOGURT

(Source: bookercatch)

how the fuck do some girls get boyfriends so easily like wtf do you just create them in your basement or what

(Source: alexkoehlerschin)

burghers:

when people say nice things about you

internetexplorers:

mirror selfies are nice because my phone covers up half my face